Thursday, December 29, 2011

Christmas

It was sweet.  It was greasy.  It was sticky.  It was purple.  It was sleeping late.  It was overheated.  It was drunk (or at least feeling no pain).  It was pate' on pumpernickel bread.  It was creative.  It was smoky.  It was overpriced.  It was in color.  It was paint-smeared.  It was champagne.  It was the grocery store closing at 6pm Christmas eve.  It was musical.  It was quiet.

It was not cold.  It was not crowded.  It was not noisy.  It was not stressful.  It was not (too) grumpy.  It was not religious.  It was not disastrous. 

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Distractions

I have lately been transcribing my travel diary from this year's trip to Japan.  Yes, I still handwrite them - no worries about batteries or lost files, unless I really, really lose an important piece of luggage (at which point I'd be more worried about my passport than anything else).  In the past, I just transcribed things I was using for articles, or technical notes about training sessions, but this time I decided to transcribe the whole thing so I can print it out and put it in the year's travel file.  There are several reasons.  My handwriting is, and will no doubt remain, abysmal to the point where a few months after writing something sustained like a journal, I can no longer read what I wrote and the only solution is to type it. I also forgot certain important logistcal points about traveling in Japan that would have been good to remember on this trip and several times would have made my life easier.  By transcribing the whole journal I can read it through before going on next year's trip and save myself at least a little grief.

I have come into possession of an iPad in the meantime that will probably mean I can just type my journal next time and save this step, but it is sort of cool to relive the experience as I go through my notes.  One of the points that jumped at me, and not for the first time, is the difference in the attitude of the people I train with in Japan versus most of the people I train with here.  Granted, the people I train with in Japan are not exactly typical.  Koryu budo in Japan is a rare pursuit and the people who train are indeed serious.  I am not talking about high school or college budo, as intense as that may sometimes be.  Many of the people I train with are descendants of samurai families, and even though that and 400 yen will get them a cup of coffee these days, in their non-working lives the study of koryu budo is not a hobby - it is their identity. 

With very few exceptions, there are not many Americans who understand this point.  I wonder sometimes if Americans are serious about anything, except maybe consumerism (maybe the time of year makes me feel that way).  Whenever an American has a deeply satisfying pastime that goes beyond buying stuff and throwing it away, it makes the news.  But anyway...

I have known a few people in my American budo life who always make a point of telling me how deep their commitment is to budo.  They stay and train for a few weeks or months, and I think to myself, hey, they really are committed to this.  And then it starts - Absences and excuses, generally work or family issues.  I also have a family, and a job, and both are important.  Otani Sensei also pointed out that family and work must take precendence over training when necessary.  But it's the "when necessary" that gets me.  When is "necessary"?  People in Japan also have families and jobs, and certainly they sometimes will miss an okeiko because of one or the other, but somehow they always manage to come back to the dojo.  As important as those other things are, the center of their non-family, non-work life is to carry on a tradition that preceded them, and, with luck, will continue after they are gone.  Call it nuts, or eccentric, but the people I train with in Japan have a strong sense of themselves and what they think is important.

Recently I had very committed student who claimed many work-life conflicts.  It took almost a year, but I finally managed to work out a schedule with him that made it possible for us to train together.  It was great - for three weeks.  I have not seen him in over two months.  I have gotten a few pinched emails promising an appearance the following week, and now, nothing.  I wish I could say I am surprised, but I'm not.

In all fairness, I have no doubt the work-life issues this person is experiencing may seem insurmountable to him.  But that is the point.  All of us have our stuff, but why is it that I can show up every week?  Sure, we are always prioritizing, but I wonder. 

One of the excuses I have heard from time to time is "Well, I was going to be late, so I decided to go home."  My response is always the same - come anyway.  Oh.  So then there is another excuse.  And another.  And I quit worrying about it, because by that time it is obvious that something else has piqued the person's interest and they have moved on to it.  They don't bother me as much as the person who keeps insisting on their genuine interest and then does not follow through.

I realize complaining about less-than-serious students is a rant that goes back (even in Japan) at least 300 years.  In Western culture, I think Plato made the same argument.  At least I am in good company.  And I'm not stupid - the sempai I train with in Japan are the ones who stayed, not the ones who ended up being unserious about training.  There just seems to be a lot more of them than here. 

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The ma of great expectations

"You have such great ma with a sword," my dance teacher informed me, "I can't understand why you don't have it when you dance!"

"I didn't know it was genre-specifc," I responded, morosely.

This discussion has gone on, on some level, over the past 1-1/2 years.  Up until that time, my Nihon buyo (classical Japanese dance) teacher had never seen much of my iai.  That all changed last year when we organized a performance and included 5 minutes of an iai demonstration.  Ever since she saw me do iai, my teacher has marveled aloud at how someone with talent in one area can be so untalented in another, albeit related, area.  (To be honest, she says I am not totally untalented; but she wonders why I am not better.)

It's a good question, because truly, I am better with a sword.  And I also wonder.

To begin with, it helps to discuss ma a little bit.  Ma is one of the most difficult of Japanese concepts to explain in words.  In Japanese kanji, it is depicted as the sun seen through a gate.  In English it is sometimes called "interval," which does not help much unless someone has studied music.  It is literally the timing between the notes.  Music students struggle with ma all the time, though some definitely have a better innate sense of it than others.  My teacher, a classically-trained musician, knows exactly whereof she speaks.  Sometimes even Japanese people refer to ma with the English word, timing.  I also think of it in terms of the word talent.  No matter how beautiful, a dancer with no ma is no fun to watch.

In dance or budo, ma is how one moves; in Nihon buyo, it could be said how one moves to interpret the lyrics of the song, as well as successfully moving in the timing between sung lyrics and rhythmic passages that make up the dance.  It is much more difficult to dance to a slow piece than a fast one. 

Sound tough?  Tell me about it.  Like budo and many western movement genres, learning the choreography is not even the start of performing a dance (though I know a number of buyoka who are content with simply memorizing choreography).  Like the painter who copies an old master in order to try to get into the head of the famous artist (as well as learning some useful techniques), the student dancer endeavors to learn the timing of her teacher as an example, though of course, eventually, she has to develop the ma she has in herself in order to make the piece effective.

So, what's my problem?  There may be several explanations.  One is time served, I think.  Though I have taken Nihon buyo classes for years, up until recently, I only attended a class twice a month with my first teacher (who retired a number of years ago).  Though the classes were long, the teacher was only able to spend a few minutes with each person.  In the past few years, we have shorter classes that take place every week.  I consider this an improvement; and up until the abovementioned conversation, thought I might be improving too.  In contrast, budo classes have taken up 2-3 hours, anywhere from one to 3 times per week!  Not to mention practicing on my own (which I have only occasionally done for Nihon buyo).  And I have done this for 25 years.  Budo also has some consequences for bad ma - the budoka who cannot block a strike in time will end up getting sore someplace.  In Nihon buyo, the only thing that gets hurt, occasionally, is pride. 

When I was a little kid, someone read a story to us from the Readers' Digest about the great ballerina Anna Pavlova.  The story was extracted from a memoir of some sort (remember I was small enough that the story was being read to us).  After spending some time extolling the brilliance of Pavlova on stage, the writer related seeing her once as a total klutz on a diving board.  The swan on stage was not as good in actual water, and of course it confounded everyone's expectations that the graceful ballerina was a terrible diver.

I am hardly comparing myself to Pavlova, but maybe the lesson is that no one is good at everything.  Or maybe that we can only spend our time doing a handful of things well (really, really well in the case of Pavlova, who surely should never have needed to apologize for anything).  In any case, it seems that being a goofball around the pool did not prevent Pavlova from enjoying the water, which is maybe the best and biggest point.

For my part, I feel I should either quit Nihon buyo, from which I have learned a very great deal, or else ask for private lessons in order to work harder.  Being stuck in mediocre-land is one interval I am getting pretty tired of.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Amateur Hour

This is a totally different topic than usual.  But I have to express some exasperation somewhere, and this is the place!

I have been affiliated with a dance group over some time.  With 22 years in, that makes me a junior member.  The hierarchy consists of people who have rank - I do not even have a vote, actually.

Over the years they have taken advantage of my theatre experience.  It has not been very unusual for me to have to give a light cue, pull off the headset, go out onstage, perform my dance, leave the stage, and give the next cue.  Or my personal favorite of all time: put in the music CD for my piece, go out and dance, leave the stage, and cue up the sound for the next dancer!  Meanwhile, the divas among them powder their noses in the dressing room, oblivious to the chaos their lack of planning and amateur theatrics is causing backstage.  Happily, for the most part, because of the efforts of two of us, there have been no real disasters, but the toll taken on the few of us who manage to run things seems not worth it.  Sometimes I have gotten $150 for several weeks' work, sometimes not much of anything at all.  Maybe someone thanks us.  Maybe not. 

The latest stupidity comes two days before what is supposed to be a gala performance.  We were to kick things off with a champagne reception.  One of the dancers said she knew someone who would supply finger food for free, only she forgot to tell him in time.  Since it's Christmas season, the person cannot devote time to a free order, so guess what?  No food.

Except there's sushi.  Maybe.  But no one knows.  For 200 people?  With champagne?  Is there champagne?  That was supposed to be donated too. 

I have worked in the theatre since I was 14 years old.  The first thing we all learned, whether we were performers, tech people, designers or managers, was that the theatre requires a great deal of work, and depends heavily on everyone doing his or her job.  One person screws up, the whole performance will suffer. 

That said, it is difficult for full-time workers to put on a professional production by ourselves.  But one of the good things about New York is that we are surrounded - nay, drowning - in theatre workers willing to pitch in, often for a few bucks.  Also, this being a major metropolitan area, we have people who, for a fee, will supply food and drink on demand.  Crazy, but it works.

And my orei this time?  I have no idea, but whatever it is, I am splitting it with my fellow sufferer.  We both deserve it.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Harry and Paulie

Happily there are no off-topic posts in this blog; that's because they are all off-topic, in their way.

Today's post has to do with two things I watched on tv over the couple of days, which seem to have little in common: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and the 3-way American Chopper Biker Buildoff.  One is a film, based on a kids' book, and the other is a "reality" show, ostensibly about building collector motorcycles. 

JK Rowlings' stuff both entertains and frustrates me.  In a way reminiscent of 70's John Wayne movies, people die in the films to momentary grief, which disappears by the next scene.  In Goblet of Fire, the Dark Lord's minions interrupt the Quiddich World Cup by causing a bloody riot - a shocking scene new to the series; but no reference is made to it for the rest of the film.   Similarly, in HBP, we have Snape (spoiler alert for the .000001% who have neither seen the film nor read the book) declaring himself the half-blood prince, but we have no idea what, in fact, that means.  And no one tells us.

I read three of the Harry Potter books while I was keeping company with an 11-year-old one wintry month of January in Minnesota, a number of years ago, and I have enjoyed the films.  I enjoyed HBP, for getting slightly better the mix of violence, magic, plot holes one could drive a truck through, and teenage angst.  The death of Dumbledore though, like Cedric's death in Goblet of Fire, seemed not to distract too much from the running of the plot.  That was really too bad, because one of the adult lessons I have learned is that the death of someone you know should make you stop and think - not only to honor the memory of the deceased, but to consider your place in the universe and what you are doing here.  Not even a shot of the funeral.  Meh.

Nevertheless, the death scene itself is moving, and the film overall is complicated and requires close attention.  And, outside of the relentless plot-drive, the film is about family - the meaning of it and/or lack thereof; about being a student, being a teacher, being a friend - about loyalty, love, and the amorality of skill.  The books and film keep asking if skill and the power attained by it is respectable in itself, or whether the character of the skilled person is more important.  It would seem, for Rowling, that power is not value-neutral, and a skilful villain is still a villain; but the number of followers of the Dark Lord suggests that a debate exists as to whether power for its own sake is worthwhile.  Harry is in the middle of this debate, and his loyal friends are in there with him.  If there is a deeper meaning to the series, it is that the author, while heavily stacking the deck in favor of her opinion, allows this debate to play out so her readers can assess it for themselves. 

I am not a regular fan of American Chopper, but anyone with even a nodding acquaintance is well aware of the split between the Teutels - Paul Sr. and Paul Jr.  Father and son were originally in business together building custom motorcycles but split over ego and differing ideas of how the business should be organized and run.  The breakup was fairly violent (objects were thrown, but at least not at each other) and at loud volume.  Lawsuits were launched and settled.  Paul Jr. has set up his own shop and has managed to gain a reputation separate from his dad.  He also wins the major sympathy vote from fans, who have expressed the opinion that it is the father who is in the wrong, and from whom a reconciliation must be initiated.  The series, which started out chronicling the family business and now tracks the soap-operatic developments as the two sides learn to coexist, has become - you guessed it - about the meaning of family (or lack thereof), about loyalty, friendship, mentoring and skill. 

Last night's episodes involved a three-way buildoff between father and son with badboy Jesse James.  The two-hour run-up and one-hour live conclusion involved letting the audience see the development of the entries, as well as egos on display throughout the process.  Jesse trash-talks everyone, Paulie chafes under what he sees as disloyal slights from his father, and his father, whilst dispensing said slights, decides to go totally out of the box in designing and building a reverse trike that shoots fire and otherwise defies description.  The audience, not surprisingly, picks Paul Jr.'s entry, a cool but not particularly out-of-the-box creation.  They second-placed Jesse, who has forged - forged - mind you, every piece of an awkward, old-school design.  Paul Sr. is ignored almost entirely, perhaps in part because his design is not exactly a bike, and  perhaps because the audience still perceives him as the real bad guy in the family drama.

The best (and most intense part) was not the all-but-foregone conclusion to the buildoff, but that Paul Jr. brought his entire crew to the final event.  At the end of the broadcast, he stands surrounded by friends, co-workers and family (his brother, also estranged from their father over what has happened, stands with him).  Both Paul Sr. and Jesse stand alone.

The Harry Potter parallels?  Like the Dark Lord, Jesse is skilful but is trying to hurt people, rather than simply outcompeting them.  His interest is in winning, in showing up the tabloids, ex-wives and ex-girlfriends that no matter what a rotten person he is, he can turn out a good product and people will love him for it anyway.  Paul Jr., as Harry, has learned that the only way to achieve success, whether fighting evil or competing in a bike build-off, is to have others' love and support.  Paul Sr., rather like Dumbledore, for all of his skill, ends up in defeat, having not yet learned the lesson that his son could teach. 

Or is he Snape?  I'm not sure, but he's in there somewhere.