I can't stand this guy (a follow up)

A number of posts ago I wrote about a student who showed up in no state to practice, and whom I sent home.  He wrote afterword that he "quit."  No one believed him, of course.  But in reading his one sentence email, I freely admit I felt a sigh of relief.  To put it in my teacher's parlance, this guy had seen the Buddha twice, already (as in three strikes and yer out).  He was self-centered and needy, and even as his technique improved, his attitude didn't.  Of his fellow students, the only one who was dubious about him ever returning was the person who runs the space where we practice.  Having dealt with needing to get him off the floor before he caused an accident two months ago, the studio manager seemed just as relieved as I was that this guy had decided to quit.

It was not really true that he wanted to quit, of course.  I arranged for him to not receive group emails regarding the goings-on of the various classes and demos, and waited for the inevitable.  Eventually, it arrived: the remorseful email that asked if he would be allowed to return to okeiko.  I forwarded it to the studio manager - what should we do?  I suggested he could return to okeiko, but no demos, no travel, and above all, no misbehavior.  Since the manager agreed, I wrote to the Bad Boy and explained.  He was grateful, of course, and agreed to all the conditions. 

Ever since then, I have been dreading the day he stomps back into the dojo and turns on the old youthful charm.  Why did I decide to let him come back?  My teacher and I once had a chat about Students You Can't Stand.  He said, "Usually, with these guys, you hurry up and test them for shodan.  Once they get it, they disappear, and the problem is solved."  He went on to note, as any traditional budoka knows, that shodan simply means you have been accepted as a beginner student.  Sensei's implication was that arrogant American students always think of shodan as some sort of accomplishment, so, having collected their "black belt", they go inflict their bad behavior on some other teacher whose world they wish to conquer.  And I saw this activity in action, as any number of students (including, unfortunately, a few who should have known better, and whom we would not have minded keeping around) passed their shodan and subsequently disappeared. 

My Guy-I-Can't-Stand is nowhere near shodan test level, unfortunately.  In two years, he has missed at least as many okeiko as he has actually attended.  And I refuse to test someone who does not minimally come up to the mark, for the sake of the integrity of my practice (I have met some teachers, even in Japan, who will hasten a promotion for reasons other than improved technique - not criticizing, mind you - just sayin'.  And I sympathize, but I just can't do it myself). 

I have only one motivation for letting this student return, and it has nothing to do with any feeling that I or my students, or budo itself, might be some kind of good influence on him: he pays.  The studio manager needs money, always, and as long as this guy actually does no real harm and pays cash, I feel like I have to accept his return.  I can't say I am looking forward to it, but ask anyone who teaches swordsmanship and they will tell you that there has never been a time when they had so many students they could afford to be picky. 

So I have to rely on the 3-strikes plan if he comes back to okeiko, as he has promised to do, "in a few weeks, as soon as I get it together."  I don't wish him any harm, but I hope it takes a good, long time.